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Monday, October 17, 2005

I was right...

I say I was right about Homecoming this year, however, it didn't happen the way that I predicted. Yes, everything was different, and yet, it had nothing to do with C.G. I found myself looking hot while dancing with A.B, K.S, R.B, N.A, C.G, S.S, "Gabe", and S.S. (aka the person who is supposed to be my nemesis). The DJay was worse than last year and they played many of the same songs over again throughout the night, excluding the one that was most important to me. I requested it twice, only to find that they didn't have it. Naturally, I was upset. So I did what I do best: exercise. To keep from looking like someone who's completely insane, I grabbed T.F. and told him to come walk with me. We took a lap around the track, and in that lap, I came to find out many things, first of which, he had been broken up with earlier. Our conversation went something like this:
TF: So, what did you bring me out here for?
Me: So I wasn't walking alone because I would look insane if I did.
TF: S.K. broke up with me. It was over some stupid "He said, She said..." thing about me talking crap about her. If I'd known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have come tonight.
Me: So are you going to shove me up against a wall and make out with me, now that you're single again? (my voice is just dripping with sarcasm)(Make note. Comes into ironic play later)
TF: (yells) How shallow do you think I am to just do that? Can't you see that I'm hurting right now? Why can't people see that?
Me: Casper*, I'm sorry.
TF: So what's wrong with you tonight? Did you get broken up with, too?
Me: For your information, I haven't had a boyfriend since M.T.* and I broke up.
TF: Is that why you're so pissed off tonight?
Me: No. I know this will sound petty compared to your distress but they don't have my song. It's important to me that they play it and they don't have it.
TF: Why is it your song?
Me: It's not just mine. It's mine and someone else's.
TF: Whos? Your's and M.T.'s*?
Me: No.
TF: Who then?
Me: Crazy's*
TF: Oh my God! You're in love with Crazy*!
Me: Was. Was in love with Crazy*. His screwing S.S. is like the final slap in the face saying, "You never had a chance. You never will have a chance."
Pause.
TF: I can't go back to being myself since S.K. broke up with me. I can't be the free, single, go-lucky guy that I like to me. Just like I couldn't when we broke up.
Me: We were never going out, Casper*.
TF: Yes we were.
Me: No we weren't. You never asked. I never said yes. We weren't going out.
Pause.
Me: What really happened over the summer? You only told me so much but I want to know the whole story.
T.F. goes on to describe in great detail that someone spiked some tea with shrooms and before he knew it, he had already drunk half of the tall glass they handed him. Apparently, he had to have his stomach pumped because he O.D'ed and then found out that he had gone pretty far with a girl he had just met.
Me: What is the longest that you've stayed clean?
TF: Two months, when I was with you.
Me: So what would you do differently if you had another chance with me?
TF: Not be an asshole and try harder to make it work.
Silence.
Me: Why were you so surprised that I could dance?
TF: Because you never told me you could shake your hips like that.
Me: Because I can't. But you've seen me walk.
TF: Yeah, but that isn't "drop it like it's hot" dancing.
Somehow, we ended up kissing. He pulled back first and asked me, "Why are you doing this? Are you doing this because you miss me or because you miss Crazy*?"
Me: Because I miss you.
He kissed my neck a few times and I added, "Also because I'm cold." Then I flipped the question right back at him; "Are you doing this because you miss me or because you miss S.K.?"
TF: I miss you.
We kissed again.
TF: I feel guilty about kissing you just now.
Me: Why?
TF: I don't know if I want to do this yet. I want to be sure I'm over S.K. before I get together with you again so I don't lead you on.
Me:(with an edge) Fine. You go home and think about it and call me when you're ready to talk.
TF: Peanut*, wait. You're not pissed at me now, are you? I just don't want to lead you on like I did before.
Me: So you didn't mean it last time, then? You were leading me on? (said with a somewhat raised voice)
TF: No, it's not like that. I just don't want to hurt you-
Me:(yelling now) Just answer the fucking question, Casper*! Did you or did you not mean it last time?
TF:(sincerely) Yes, I meant it. (pause) I think the dance has ended.
Me: Well, we'd better go back in then. (I take his hand to go inside)
Then we kissed again and before I knew it, we were on the dance floor, kissing, with R.B. taking a picture. I just can't figure out why or how this happened so fast. I can't figure out what to do, what to say, nothing. I don't even know how I'm going to see him anymore. (Just for reference, T.F. and I "fooled around" last year at the end of the year. We had agreed to be "just friends" because I was leaving for six weeks over the summer. We had also agreed that when I got back, we would date. However, he fooled around with another girl over the summer and told me about it (thank God) so it never happened).
So, you tell me... sweet or sour? Should I give him another chance or should I be a cold-hearted bitch?

*real name used in actual conversation.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

maybe you take too many of the wrong things too seriously
dlennman