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Friday, August 11, 2006

Hating

You know what I hate? I hate breaking up. I hate breaking up for stupid reasons. I hate breaking up for stupid reasons that make absolutely no sense. If S.H. had told me at the beginning of the relationship that he wasn't ready for a girlfriend, then yeah, I would submit more easily. If we had started dating two months earlier, (like he wanted to, but we didn't because I was still hung up on C.R.) then he had broken up with me within the first month, I would be happier. But the reason that I am still basically upset about this is because it takes me roughly six months to find another boyfriend after my last relationship makes a break. Homecoming is in October. That is less than three months from now. How am I supposed to find a date by then?!? I got it! I'll put out an ad!! Not.
Best SELF is now over and I cried on the last day. No, not because I was overflowing with emotion. No, I cried because I didn't know what I had done wrong to make the kids I taught hate me so much. I cried because they thought that I had no authority because it was my first year and I was just an assistant. And the worst of it? I cried in front of my "worst nightmare" students.
I hate the fact that I still have homework and that I'm leaving for my father's house on Thursday. I can't stand to live in the same house with all his kids, and not to mention the in-laws who are coming. They don't treat me like their grandchild, and they don't treat my little brother and sister like their grandchildren. It's like their only relatives in that house are B.A. and M.R. Majority rules and I say, as well as my father, that they are not welcome in that house. Alas, it is not my house and therefore not my place. I'll just stay locked in my room when I'm home and leave the house when I'm not. Take my homework elsewhere to do. Maybe to Noon Moon so I don't have to put up with P.H's dysfunctional side.
I might think of other things to hate later, but right now, life is pretty good. It's just my sucky personality.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

There is nothing about you that sucks. You are awesome!! I'm looking forward to our road trip. How about we get started on designing your dress while taking our trip?
Love you lots, Mom