A solitary lunch.
Last year I would have complained.
But I'm starting to enjoy it.
A seat near the windows
Remaining unoccupied
Beckons to me;
A clique of one.
Overlooking the crowds
Gazing out into the sunshine
Backstabbing friends
Laugh and shout
Excluding me.
I've come to expect it.
I never knew that life could be so peaceful
And so disastrous in unison.
Following no pattern,
My thoughts pile up,
Like rising water
Drowning all the useful information.
They don't speak to whores;
At least not in truth.
The words said aloud:
"Sure I'm your friend."
The rest is in their heads:
But I think you a whore,
A bitch.
A slut, even.
These are read on faces
That are supposed to be learned
In concealing ones thoughts.
Look away,
Look away as I pass by.
Why don't they just come out
And say what they really think?
They try to pretend,
But I was told
About the stainless steel
Blade,
That everyone knows about.
You think that a smile,
And a statement;
"I like your pants,"
Will make you my friend again?
YOu could never be so wrong.
Maybe I deserve this constant state of solitary,
But I don't want those faux amis.
The ones who whip out their knives
When your back is turned,
When you're least expecting it.
I guess it's just something people do;
A force that can't be stopped.
Now, only one question remains:
Why risk befriending someone,
If you already know
Betrayal is unpreventable?

Eating Out

The other day, I walked into a Wendy's restaurant, ordered a meal of the processed meat and deep fried potatoes, and sat down to eat. As I was masticating (awesome word!) I observed my surroundings. There was, of course, the usual objects that you would see in a fast food restaurant, such as the food, cups, the littl cardboard holders and paper that contain your food, the registers, ect. There was also a small sign, barely noticable, hanging above the registers, stating that "Wendy's cares..." followed by a phone number and an invatation to "give us a call." And, as it is unpreventable, I began to wonder; did I really enjoy my service, or was it a bit lacking? So I went back to my regular occupation of analyzing the people and things around me. It was then that I came to realize that the girl behind the register was just repeating the same thing over and over again. It also hit me that I do the exact same thing in working retail. However, there is a small difference between us: this young girl, about my age, seemed to be void of life. Don't get me wrong, she does work at a fast food restaurant, which would be a bit depressing to me as well, but this girl didn't let a single smile escape to one of her customers. Maybe I just caught her on a bad day, and she really enjoys her job, constantly laughing and joking with everyone as she asks what kind of sauce they would like for their dipping purposes. But from her appearance, and from her co-workers' appearances, they don't have fun with their jobs.
On a less depressing note, take a look at this popular waiter's website. This man has some excellent stories that are quite humorous most of the time, and quite a bit of life experience.

Long Time, No Posts

Update on the Casey at boot camp front: his next letter is supposed to get to the Small Town post office by tomorrow. In his last letter, he described things that the drill sergeants do that are completely inhumane, (like slamming the recruits heads up against the wall? Sounds like someone needs a little anger management, and that person is not me (contrary to the belief of my father)). I'm literally counting the weeks until he comes home from the hell that he's in right now.
In other day-to-day news, a new guy (S.M.) just transferred into my second period class, and he's been assign to the computer next to me (I have yet to decide whether this is a good or bad thing), and it seems that he is doing everything that he can to get my attention. M.M. sits on the opposite side of him, and instead of asking a fellow male (who is as far along in the project as I am), he turns to the female, allowing her to make a complete fool out of herself (which, more often than not, she screws up the process of what he's supposed to be doing, and messes up, or forgot, further proving the thought that men have in their heads that women and technology don't mix). Why guys do this, I probably will never find out.
As far as history goes (the class), C.G. has managed to land himself in another one of my classes(ha ha, that's ironic, considering the aformentioned and I have a history) , granting himself the opportunity to drive me up the wall for yet another semester (something that he will not be doing, unless he wishes to strive diligently, which he won't, the cause being that he's lazy). He's talked to me once so far this semester for about five minutes, long enough to tell me that his friends are starting to suggest that he apologize (this includes C.R. but that was when he was still here at the end of December), later explaining that he hasn't yet because he doesn't see what he did wrong. My reply was that I hadn't told anyone anything except for the fact that we are no longer friends and my reasoning for that, seeing as it was my decision. In the words of my friend, M.H, "we all thought C.G. went wrong by dating S.S. but I guess it all went downhill after that." Man, is that the truth...