Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Feel Bad, Bitch

This, I'm hoping, will be a quick post, as I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now, and I don't currently have anything done on it.
Today, let me just say right now, has just not been my day. Little things going wrong, tired as hell, and it all culminates in THIS SHIT. My friends and I went to dinner tonight. And like usual, we were fucking around. Very beginning of dinner. My roommate takes my drink, making a sort of joke (guess you had to be there) and then on her way to giving it back, putting it on my tray, the glass catches the edge of the tray and falls out of her hand.
No big deal, right?
Oh, I forgot to mention its contents fell. All. Over. Me.
Okay. Still, no big deal, right?
WRONG. I'm wearing my favorite jeans and t-shirt.
No worries. You can wash them.
Grape juice stains. Before the accident, I had two pairs of jeans that I could wear that weren't stained, that were relatively nice. Currently? I have one pair.
Okay, so I go back to my room, change out of my clothes, realize I have no money to replace them, soak them in the bathtub, and proceed to start freaking out about where I'm going to get the money for new jeans, crying and everything. So I call my mom. See if she would be willing to contribute. Luckily, she gets paid Friday, so I bought jeans at Eddie Bauer in B. over the phone and they're shipping them to me. Great. Taken care of.
When I got back to my room after my meeting, J. wasn't around, so I asked K. where she went. "M.'s room." Cool. I didn't go down there, I figured she was fine, whatever. I made it clear when I left after not getting any dinner that I didn't want them to bring me any food, and that it wasn't her fault.
Now, J. isn't the type of person to immediately take things the way you mean them to be taken. She feels bad for EVERYTHING. Dear God, this girl can't let anything go without feeling bad. So apparently she starts crying. And she's been crying in M.'s room. I found this out when I tried to get M. to tell her that I'm sorry, as I won't be in my room until late tonight, or so I am anticipating. But not only did I get absolutely no help, I got a cold response from M. like I did something wrong.
Excuse me. I had to leave the table at that point, because not only was I dripping with grape juice, but I was fairly upset, and getting more upset as I got to my room. I fucking started crying, which I suppose isn't unusual for me lately, and I'm pretty much on the verge right now. I'm not supposed to be the one feeling like I've done someone wrong, because according to A.K., I didn't do anything. Yet, I'm still really upset, and I feel like I should be the one apologizing.
Well you know what? I hope you feel bad, J. You can't just let someone be fucking upset without ruining that as well as their clothes. I would have fucking gotten over it fast if you hadn't gotten the whole group on your side by feeling so bad you cry, by feeling so bad that they look at me like the bad guy. You know what? I got out of there so fast because I didn't want you to feel worse than you already did, but now? I HOPE you feel bad!

Okay. I am finished ranting. I apologize for my words if they are harmful. But know, I won't apologize. I did nothing wrong.