Thursday, December 29, 2005

Ah, Another Winter Day To Waste, Though It Doesn't Feel That Way

Okay, what to do today? We have several options. #1. Go out to the middle of nowhere and spend time with my family, who I don't particularly like. #2. Go bowling with my sister, where the idea of putting on slicker-than-snot, butt ugly bowling shoes that don't go with my outfit discusts me. #3. Go ice-skating with my sister, which I would enjoy but still has the downfalls of coming home with bruises all over my butt (besides, the ice is probably melting as we speak, since it's so blasted warm out there. I might as well go swimming in my grandpa's pond). #4. Go to the movies with my sister (this is the best idea of all because I can't find anything bad to say about it). #5. Call my friends and family in my hometown, then sit here and bitch about being bored and having nothing to do (the most fun so far :*)). #6. Call my local friends and line up a sleepover for every night until I leave (kind of hard since my controlling parents won't allow me to see one of my best friends and another is out of town and won't be back until I'm gone). #7. Sit here and blog all day, sending instant messages to my friends (again, not much good because nobody ever gets online). #8. I suppose I could go down to Noon Moon (a local coffee shop) and chill with my homework for a couple of hours, seeing as I have a book to finish for English and a poster to finish for Health (did I metion that it's the only place that I can get some peace and quiet?) Sorry guys, I feel a little pessimistic this morning. In all reality, none of these options are bad. Maybe it's because I really just don't want to be here. Oh well, that's the way the world turns. If everything were perfect, we'd still find things to complain about.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I Need Some Advice From Those Who Still Read

I had people talking to me last night, trying to convice me that their way is the right way to go, religiously. I disagree with some things that their church teaches, therefore, I do not take communion there, or pray the prayers that they have raised their children with. Yet they argue with me on who is right and who is wrong, trying, it feels, to change the way I think to the way that they think, to change the belief system that I have been raised with. What should I do, what should I say to them?

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

January Cannot Come Fast Enough

I am so psyched for January! I mean December is great and everything, the end of a year, Christmas, so on and so forth, but for me, January is moving on, a chance to begin again. January weekends also bring me to the mountain for powder snowboarding, and more crashes and burns. But, hey, that's what makes it fun. January is the end of the hectic holiday shopping that occurs around Christmas. It's the end of the first semester at my school. It signifies the passing of time and reminds me of how quickly time really does pass. Here I am, getting nostalgic. Well, let's just say I've screwed up a lot this year, more than any other I think, and I desperately need a second chance (actually, more like a sixteenth chance). I've lost friends that I would have rather not lost, I've gained friends that I would probably be better off without, I've made mistakes that a typical teenage girl makes, and this year, although I may not disclose my resolutions to you as I am not totally anonymous, I am going to try my best to keep them. Oh, and another reason why January is great is the twenty-sixth marks a full year of blogging for me (not including deleted posts). I originally started this thing up so that my sister and I could talk without being eavesdropped on by our over-the-top control freaks that we call our parents. She never got the hang of how to post and since she never read, I changed my log on and password. I don't know if she reads now but back when I first began blogging, my posts really sucked. That's why some of them are deleted. When I go back and read what I've written in the past, I see how naiive I was and I can predict that I will sound just as naiive to myself in another year when I look back at this post. Well, I pray that this New Year can be prosperous for all, and that I will have the strength not to go back on my resolutions.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas

So what do you think of the new Christmas issue about being politically correct that has arisen this year? My boss had me working Christmas Eve night and all the customers whom I wished a Merry Christmas responded, not with the new phrase meant not to offend, but with a jovial "Merry Christmas," further spreading their joy, found one month out of the twelve that we call our year. I, personally, have been raised knowing the true values of Christmas and why we celebrate. Ever since who-knows-when, people have been obsessed with the commercial aspect of Christmas, so that instead of the Christian holiday that it is, it has become a holiday in which people give gifts, people receive gifts, and eat this huge holiday feast, thinking about how they are going to use that new tool set, or when they are going to have time to install that new car stereo given to them by Aunt Myra. So the asshole who took offense to a "Merry Christmas" directed at him needs to take a step back and look at the reason this holiday is celebrated. It is, whether society wants to believe is or not, the birthday of Jesus Christ. The well wish of "Happy Holidays," in my opinion, can be flushed down the toilet because, it seems, no one is giving up their merry Christmases.
Another thing about Christmas is it tends to bring out the best, and the worst in some people. Everyone gets together with their families for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Tension is running high, oftentimes there is a family crisis occurring. I know that I used to enjoy spending my Christmases at home, watching movies, drinking hot cocoa, checking out your loot, ect. ect. Now that my mother has remarried, and my (wicked) stepmother has kicked me out of my father's house (now claiming that she didn't mean what she said), I spent the second consecutive year with my new family, (Mom's husband's family) and I really enjoyed it this year, along with the sweet satisfaction of telling my father that I had no desire to spend Christmas with him. It might be a hassle to run from house to house but it's worth it to spend time with people who love me for me.
Hope you all had a merry Christmas, and may your new year be prosperous.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Who's Got The Ring and Is It the Right One?

I'm just wondering if you guys think that this story about a man finding a diamond ring in his car and this story about a woman who lost her ring sound a little like a coincidence? I mean look at the descriptions!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Not-So-Perfect Plans

Great conversation,
One of the best I've had.
I crave more like it.
"Call me if you ever need anything."
And call he did.
A familiar voice leaves a message for me.
The walks to work continued,
A suggestion to "hang out" was made.
I became a mall rat,
Haunting Sam Goody and Spencer's.
A previous boyfriend upset me,
And unintentional harsh words stung my friend.
After talking to an ex of his,
I became angry.
Recycled lines thawed the ice in my chest.
"I'm not trying to get into your pants..."
I didn't know they were being reused
"I'm trying to get into your heart."
We made movie plans,
Later called on account of the unexpected.
I'm grounded for not calling.
21-7-7-5= 2 days before January 3:
The day he leaves for three months.
"I won't be your whore!"
My vocal chords got a workout.
I feel I'm being used,
His new hook-up whore.
Two days pass before Apologetic Sunday.
Same voice leaving a pathetic message.
"I'm sorry."
The only two words out of his mouth
That don't seem sincere.
Another date was planned
Against my better judgment.
One where we would meet up
And go to that long-past-due movie.
I was there at 1:00 p.m.
And he didn't show up 'til 4:00!
Too late.
His loss.
I hung out for an hour,
An unidentified girl trails.
Who is she?
I'm going home finally.
He's nowhere in sight.
Skat halts,
Admitting passengers.
It's that girl again.
My heart stops, and freezes.
He's following her.
"Ladies first."
He said that to me once, too.
Feigning sleep, my eyes well.
He doesn't even acknowledge my presence!
I feel like running,
Feel like screaming,
It hurts that bad.
Like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Who is she?
Just a friend?
With long, beautiful, dark, wavy hair,
And brown doe eyes,
A perfect waist,
Willing to wear a dress,
A good sense of humor,
With a talent for conversing?
Sounds like his perfect woman.
He introduced me as his girlfriend!
"Testing it out," he said,
On his cousins.
He claims
He doesn't want to get attached;
Doesn't want me to get attached.
Confesses he already has.
Or is it a lie?
I know I am.
My head is pounding,
I can't think about this right now.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Grounded, and for Stupid Reason

Let me just say this: I hate being grounded. What I was grounded from kind of defeats the purpose anyways. I got home one night about eight and my mom says, "Where have you been?" even though I had told her the night before that I was planning to hang out with C.R. and get my bus ticket to visit S.A. After we did a price check on bus tickets, C.R. insisted that he take me to get something to eat. On the way to this place, we came across his cousins, to whom he introduced me as his girlfriend, for the pure interest in my reaction. I had none until later, but that is not relevent to this story. Jerry's, the place that we were going to eat, had two burritos left. Lucky us. So we take off to C.R.'s aunt's house and hang out there for awhile. The evening progresses and I find myself in a strange woman's house, playing with her children, and at the same time, telling C.R. that I'm ready to leave him there because I'll be grounded if I don't get home soon. He finally tells his family goodbye and we catch SKAT home. As he's getting off, he says, "Call me when you get home." I agree to call and then I get home, only to find my mom pissed off, sitting on the couch, ready to ground me for one of the three weeks that C.R. has left here before he leaves for boot camp. 3x7= 21 days left. 21-6 days that I have to visit my father= 15 days left. 15-7 days that I was grounded for= 8 days left. 8-7 that he will have to spend doing Marine stuff= 1 day. I have one day left to spend with him, simply because my mom forgot where I said I was going. I didn't have access to a phone at his cousins house, because if I did, I would have called her. But, now it's over and I'm free again. Praise the Lord!

Monday, December 12, 2005

Race Mixing

I have a friend who is planning to go into the Marines. He is leaving this town the third day of the year 2006. He is insanely handsome, kind of tall, has an awesome sense of humor, and happens to be attracted to me. My feelings are likewise. Oh, and one more thing... He's black. African-American. Negro.
He and I are pretty into each-other, however, some people (namely my biological father) object to people of mixed races to be together. Needless to say sarcastically, I am SOOO excited to tell S.A. about C.R. I already have his predicted reaction playing through my head; "He's black?!? You're dating a nigger?!?" My mother doesn't really care. She, like her parents, has taught me that the Constitution is correct: all men are created equal. What difference is there between us except for the fact that his body produces a bit more melanin than mine does?
If I still have my readers, I would really appreciate your opinions on this issue of race-mixing. Is it wrong? What are the logical reasons that a white girl shouldn't be with a black boy? And vice-versa? What are the logical reasons that they should? I know what I think is right but, as always, I would really like to see another's point of view, especially if it is opposing mine.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Lessons in Compassion

The Lord sent my mom and I a gift and a lesson at the same time on Friday night. Mom had come to pick me up from work at 10:30pm and we were driving home, heading towards the back roads. Just before we reach the railroad tracks, the arms came down and the lights were flashing, the tell-tale signal that a train is on it's way. The train gets halfway past us when it stops, dead in the middle of the road. After sitting there for about five minutes, we realized that this train wasn't moving anytime too soon. So mom flipped a U-turn and we head back through town. As we're passing a local grocery store, my mother, all of a sudden, yells, "Oh my gosh, a kitten!" and swings the car into the parking lot of said grocery store. I jumped out of the car and ran to pick the kitten up. His hind legs pathetically hung limp. As we drove home, the kitten purred the whole way. Mom and I both believed that we would have to euthanize this cat, that it wouldn't get a second chance at life, so when we arrived at the house, Mom layed some towels in an old dog carrier and we placed the cat in it, leaving the cage on the table so my dog would leave it alone. After I had gone to work the next morning, I forgot about the kitten for a short period of time, that is until my mom came to pick me up again. My day was rolling along wonderfully and I was telling my mother about it when she told me that Chance, or so she had named him, had a second chance at life. Neither one of us did anything with that cat, thinking that we would end up taking care of him in the end. Mom knows that God put Chance on that street corner, knowing that we would pull over, intending for us to learn that our compassion must not have conditions. We must show love and care for everybody and everything that might come our way, whether their social standing is less, they are of a different race, or are quite shabby looking. I know that I learned a lesson last night and I hope to recieve more like it.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


So today, during fourth period, we were just sitting in class, minding our own business, when suddenly a student looked out the window and exclaimed, "It's snowing!" It was only a few flakes, and they weren't even sticking, yet everyone flocked to the windows immediately, almost as if it were the second coming of Christ. Although we may be in high school, that doesn't take away the amazement and wonder that we express at the first snowfall of the season. I guess that it helps that we were in math class, allowing the unique shapes of the flakes to be ingrained in our brains. M.V. started singing Christmas carols, I started getting REALLY excited, and for the rest of the period, none of us could pay much attention. It's a good thing that we had already learned how to do most of the stuff. I think that it is completely and utterly astounding that every snowflake is different. As the period went on, the snowfall became heavier and heavier, the snowflakes getting bigger and bigger, and yet, they still weren't sticking, to the dismay of a certain individual who just happens to be writing this article. When I got home from school, T.L. told me that the snow isn't going to stick, yet by the hour, it has gotten deeper and deeper. I keep praying for a snow day so I can ride up to Baker or Stevens with one of my friends and practice my snowboarding skills. Those of you who know me, I know why you're laughing. As for those who don't, I suck at snowboarding and everyone knows it. Yet I keep trying, continuing to fall, simply because I love the snow. I hope all you guys out there who are reading this, stay in touch with your inner child and do something you love to do with that same childish enthusiasm that my classmates and I showed earlier today.