Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Not-So-Perfect Plans

Great conversation,
One of the best I've had.
I crave more like it.
"Call me if you ever need anything."
And call he did.
A familiar voice leaves a message for me.
The walks to work continued,
A suggestion to "hang out" was made.
I became a mall rat,
Haunting Sam Goody and Spencer's.
A previous boyfriend upset me,
And unintentional harsh words stung my friend.
After talking to an ex of his,
I became angry.
Recycled lines thawed the ice in my chest.
"I'm not trying to get into your pants..."
I didn't know they were being reused
"I'm trying to get into your heart."
We made movie plans,
Later called on account of the unexpected.
I'm grounded for not calling.
21-7-7-5= 2 days before January 3:
The day he leaves for three months.
"I won't be your whore!"
My vocal chords got a workout.
I feel I'm being used,
His new hook-up whore.
Two days pass before Apologetic Sunday.
Same voice leaving a pathetic message.
"I'm sorry."
The only two words out of his mouth
That don't seem sincere.
Another date was planned
Against my better judgment.
One where we would meet up
And go to that long-past-due movie.
I was there at 1:00 p.m.
And he didn't show up 'til 4:00!
Too late.
His loss.
I hung out for an hour,
An unidentified girl trails.
Who is she?
I'm going home finally.
He's nowhere in sight.
Skat halts,
Admitting passengers.
It's that girl again.
My heart stops, and freezes.
He's following her.
"Ladies first."
He said that to me once, too.
Feigning sleep, my eyes well.
He doesn't even acknowledge my presence!
I feel like running,
Feel like screaming,
It hurts that bad.
Like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Who is she?
Just a friend?
With long, beautiful, dark, wavy hair,
And brown doe eyes,
A perfect waist,
Willing to wear a dress,
A good sense of humor,
With a talent for conversing?
Sounds like his perfect woman.
He introduced me as his girlfriend!
"Testing it out," he said,
On his cousins.
He claims
He doesn't want to get attached;
Doesn't want me to get attached.
Confesses he already has.
Or is it a lie?
I know I am.
My head is pounding,
I can't think about this right now.