Saturday, February 10, 2007

Okay, I admit it. I am scared to death. I'm scared that I will die too soon, before I've made my difference in the world. I am scared that I won't go to a good college and will end up at the local community college where all the work that I've done to get where I am will be worthless, as they start everyone out in pre-algebra when I've taken calculus. I am scared that I will never find the person that I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with, and I'm scared that the boy I'm with won't be him. I'm afraid of not traveling the world and not getting a good job. Frightened of letting my family down, and afraid that my sister will turn to drugs, alchohol, suicide, or running away because her mother won't listen to what she has to say about her step-father. I'm scared that I will lose more of my young family members before I have a chance to get closer. I'm frightened that I don't believe enough in Christ, and that I'm letting my peers test and weaken my beliefs. I'm scared I will end up like my father, or my step-mother.