Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Too Much, Too Soon... Maybe

I think that I got more than what I bargained for in agreeing to be S.H.'s girlfriend. We have these insane discussions in which we talk about nothing in particular, and yet everything at the same time. Never having had a girlfriend previously, S.H. is rather inexperienced in anything that has to do with the female kind, his knowledge limited to the immature sex jokes that his hormomal teenage guy friends tell him. Ha ha, not that I have much to go on either.
The first time he held a conversation with someone that went over an hour was towards the middle of March, the individual with whom he was speaking being me. I think the only reasons why our conversations last so long are because we ask the other questions or tell each other secrets; it's kind of like a game of truth or dare, the difference being there exists no dare option. Today, the conversation was cut short on account of a babysitting job that I had set yesterday. But all it consisted of was accounting the things that we have never done, and want to do. Some things about him surprise me; some things about me surprise him. Having been screwed over many a time, I try to keep my guard up, a relatively pointless action on my part, mainly because he hasn't given me a reason not to trust him. But try as I might to defend myself, he often takes me by surprise, saying things that you wouldn't expect to hear from a typical teenage guy. These things are really cheesy, but maybe it's the level of corniness that gets past my onion-like layers.
Even though it's a wonderful way to get to know someone else, I often find myself thinking about the one other time that I played this game of Truth with someone else, someone whose answers were more colorful, sweet, and insightful, and as much as I try, I can't forget the nights when I talked until midnight or later. I must give props to S.H. though. I don't think that he knows what he's in for when he meets my extended family, and although he may not be a Marine, I know he's strong enough to face my family, and yet mellow enough to not attempt controlling me.


Kristin said...

I am glad that you've found one of the good ones :-). Don't let him get away.

As for dear Michael, we do it to each other, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not innocent. I manipulate him constantly. And yes, I'm more than a tad confusing and he does feel too damn much like home for me to ever "leave" him. We actually aren't dating right now... it's a complicated situation I suppose. I don't disagree with you. It is a very unhealthy relationship. He blames his problems on me, I take my anger at anyone alive out on him. He's a jackass and I'm a bitch. I don't see myself being happy with him out of whatever picture I have right now, though.