Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Ordinary Girl In an Extraordinary World

So, I consider myself somewhat ordinary, nothing too exciting about me. It's the same girl who has gotten up every morning at six to the same Staind song, walked to the same bus stop every morning since seventh grade, gone to all the same classes since September, and gone home every night, simply to do homework and go to bed at the same time every night. Some wonderful things happen, but only over a period of time... like the trip to France. Some days are awesome, some days are horrible, yet I make it through every time, which is, in essence, why I am still here. You see, I made a choice, way back in sixth grade, that I wanted to live. I have never contemplated suicide since then and have lived my life with the expression "Carpe Diem" imprinted in my mind. I think back to my middle school years and wonder, How did I get to be the person that I am today? I used to be SO popular and I knew everyone in my grade. I look at the person I am today, and nobody talks to me anymore. Have I just changed to be more introverted or have I realized that my friends aren't all that cool? My high school career may be going just the way I want it to. Even though I might appear to be un-original, I still hold high hopes for myself. Not many people know that I want to teach English in France. Not many people know that I excell in math and science. Not many people know that I can be extremely crazy when I want to. Not many people know that I help pay bills and buy groceries because my lame-ass father doesn't pay the child support on time.
I had a really good conversation with a girl that rides my bus today. I found out that she plays basketball, and that she has a brother and a sister. She found out that I work at Eddie Bauer and that I like to snowboard on my days off. I guess my main question to the world is why are people so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't stop to talk to the people that appear to them as "simply ordinary"? Why do we not take an interest in people that we don't know yet and make them our friends? Maybe I'm just "tilting at windmills" but I believe that if we all started taking a little more time out of our days, we could not only meet more people, but make them close friends, and, in essence, make the world a smaller, more secure, place to live.


cheesemeister said...

Not many people bother to know other people. It's one of the sad things about this world.
You sound like you have to be mature beyond your years. Maybe that's why some of your old friends appear childish to you now. They say that what doesn't kill us makes us grow stronger--a statement I sometimes hate, but there is truth in it. You seem like a basically stable person in spite of the inevitable waves of emotion that come to one with sensitivity. Hang in there. Maybe someday you will meet my son while in France--he wants to go there too. And when he does I'll be very lonely. But I will do everything I can to support his dream.